These Words Are Real

Copyright Julia Bydulia.

---

I never planned on pretending to
like the people I didn't or
hate the people I loved, but,
circumstances can change a girl
whether they be complication
and labyrinth-like or
simple like the wooden puzzles
from your kindergarten classrooms.

I never planned on having to ask you
pressing questions that
weigh down on me like a boulder
while I wait for you to answer
and to hopefully relieve me of this
guilty feeling I don't think
I should have.

I made the bed myself
and now I'll have to lie in it
but I won't let you lie to me
about the past, the present, or the future
while you promise you are being honest
like you know everything
and I am a fool.

Honestly, honestly, honestly,
---you are one of my favorite people
---to smile with, and to love
---but I am not going to let you
---act so nonchalant while I
---absorb the peoples' anger
---from every angle, every side.